It’s Wednesday, and I am here to say that I can neither confirm nor deny that writer Len Archibald was paid an undisclosed amount of hush money by me to keep recent happenings under wraps. My lawers have told me to simply say “No Comment.”
It’s Wednesday…you know what that means!
Match 1: Hair vs Hair Match
Ortiz vs Chris Jericho
Regal is on commentary. Hager, Parker, Menard and Garcia are with Jericho while Kingston is ringside for Ortiz.
We are starting off hot with a lionsault from Jericho and a cover, but Ortiz reverses and hits a right, then a pin for 1..NO!!! Ortiz sends Jericho to the outside. Huge chop to the chest. Ortiz whips Jericho into the barricade, hard. Whip into the corner, and Ortiz hits a huge chop. He rolls off the top rope, hits a dropkick, covers for 1..2.NO!!! Jericho knees Ortiz in the fae, corners him with a right hand, Ortiz hits a headbutt, but Jericho with a flurry of fists. He sits Ortiz up on the corner, chops the chest hard, then climbs up the corner. Jericho rties for a rana, Ortiz holds on, and powerbombs him!
We see a barber ringside.
Jericho is on the apron. He locks the head of Ortiz. HOLY SHIT HE HITS A SUPLEX OFF THE APRON ONTO THE FLOOR DOWN ON THE MAT!!!!
We are back and Kingston is cheering Ortiz on as Jericho slaps him in the face. Ortiz fires back, hits a right, chop, right hand, chop, Jericho ducks, so Ortiz comes back with a hard clothesline! Jericho with a chop! Ortiz removes his tank top and chops Jericho back into the corner with a barrage of right forearms! Ortiz whips, follows with a run, Jericho kicks him out of the corner then heads to the top rope. Ortiz catches him! He grabs the head and hits a cutter off the top rope! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Jericho with a surporise rollup, counters into a Walls attempt, but Ortiz cradles and get s a 1..2..NO!!! Jericho tries for a suplex, Ortiz escapes, headbutts the shoulder, DDT!! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Ortiz flies off the top rope with a spinning elbow, but Jericho dodges! Crowd is hot for Ortiz. Jericho hooks the arm, Ortiz with a backslide! 1..2..NO!!!!! Hops up for a rana, but Jericho holds the legs and gets in the Walls of Jericho!!!! Ortiz reaches for ropes, Kingstone yells at Hager to stay back. Ortiz crawls his way to the bottom rope!!! He breaks the hol! Parker gets involved, so Kingston attacks!!!
JAS attacks Kingston into the crowd, but here comes Santana and Wheeler Yuta!!! Kingston and Hager g at it while Yuta and Santana go wild.
Kingston slides under the rope! Jericho turns! SPINNING BACKFIST FROM KINGSTON!!!! COVER! 1….2……..NO!!!! SO CLOSE!!!!
Ortiz grabs the head of Jericho. Hager hops on the apron, Kingston grabs his boot, FUEGO DEL SOL HAS A BAT AND SLIDES INTO THE RING!!
HE ATTACKS ORTIZ!!! The ref doesn’t see! Jericho covers! 1..2….3!!!!!
Winner: Chris Jericho
Wowza. Sometimes, I give Jericho shit for being sluggish and a little on the slow side, but this…this was him going out there and giving Ortiz his all. Solid match with an outcome that was obvious. Even so, they had me going with that Spinning Backfist from Kingston. Damn good opener.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 11:06
Fuego looks a little different…
IT’S SAMMY GUEVARA!!!!!!
Ortiz grabs the clippers from the barber, but Kingston has something to say.
Ortiz has some scissors. He cuts his hair then shaves it himself.
Kingston calls him a man of his word. He tells Jericho this aint done.
“Blood and Guts,” says Ortiz over and over as he shaves his head.
We switch gears to an AWESOME video package for Sterling vs Wardlow ala People’s Court.
Wardlow is backstage, readying himself for the 20 on 1.
Match 2: Wardlow vs Future WWE Main Event Roster
Wardlow starts by sending a bunch of dudes off the apron, and they are announced as eliminated. They then pile on Wardlow until he explodes, sending a few more flying through the ropes. Wardlow then powerbombs a guy over the top rope onto a bunch of people who are outside. Wardlow chokeslams someone and pins with his foot, while also choking someone out. He then stacks up a bunch of guys and eliminates them. He hooks the head of another and hits a powerbomb, then another dude and another. He piles those guys up and covers and we’ve got 9 people eliminated so far. Chokeslam to a few more, kick and another powerbomb. Wardlow piles these four dudes on one another and covers. Another poor soul comes in and gets powerbombed, then another.
One security guard actually climbs the top rope and looks to fly with a crossbody, but Wardlow catches him and powerbombs him onto the rest of the crew. Cover for 1..2…3!!!
I could have done without this segment, but it was also a quick way to close the Sterling chapter. Then again, I feel like the segment after this would have done just enough, if not more, for Wardlow.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 4:09
Dan Lambert and Scorpio Sky are in a Skybox, and Lambert says if you mess with one member of his crew, the rest of the team messes with you. So look over your shoulder, because there may be some legendary UFC Champions in the crowd right now. Lambert announces Hughes and Tyrone Woodley and tells them to get in the ring and take out the garbage.
These two dudes hop into the ring.
Wardlow says they’re fom St. Louis, right? Wardlow says as a fellow hard-working Midwesterner, he knows they are smarter than to take orders of some rich asshole in a sky box. So they can fight if you want, but he thinks they’re cut from the same cloth.
Taylor tosses Sterling into Wardlow and gets a powerbomb.
Match 3: Will Ospreay vs Dax Hardwood
Arm drag to start by Will. He works the arm, Dax escapes, gets his own, Will flips out of it.
LOCK UP!!! Side headlock from Dax, hits the ropes, tackle from Dax, leap frog from Will, Dax misses a clothesline, rana sends Dax down hard. Will works the left arm of Dax. He sends Dax into the corner. Hits a chop. Another. Dax with a fast snap suplex, leg drop, cover for 1..NO!!!! Dax whips. Back body drop! Will goes high! Dax covers for 1..2.NO!!!! Side headlock takedown. Elbow strike from Will. Will to the apron. Dax locks the head, Will slaps the kidneys a few times. Dax hops ot the apron. Chop, chop, holds the head, wants a suplex, but Will lands in the ring, slides thorugh the legs, then pulls the legs out from under him, and Dax lands on the apron! SHOTGUN DROPKICK OUTTA NOWHERE FROM OSPREAY INTO THE STEPS!!!!
We are back and Dax has waist control! Suplex! AGAIN!!! AGAIN!!! THE FOURTH ONE ITS HARD! BUT THE FIFTH ONE COMES WITH A RELEASE! Dax to the top rope! He flies and gets NOTHING! Will to the outside after he drops Dax hard! He heads to the top rope! 450 Splash and a cover for 1…2…NO!!! Will to the tiop again, Dax is up, hits a right hand. Chop to Will. Right from Will, they go back and forth, with Will up above! One hit from Da and Will drops to the apron. Dax pulls Will up onto the top rope, seated, He locks up for a side suplex off the top, but Will counters into. Crossbody, mid air! 1..2…NO!!! Dax counters for 1..2..NO!!!! Will up, kick, locks the head, powerbomb to Dacx, into a bridge, but Dax holds the legs and pins for 1..2…NO!!!! Dax to the apron. To the floor. Will flies over the top rope onto Dax! He sends Dax into the ring, heads to the top rope yet again, dives off with a huge elbow to the back of the head!!!!! Dax looks to be out cold! Cover from Will for 1..2….NO!!!! DAX KICKS OUT!!! Will looks to shoot into the ropes, but Da hits a forearm to the bacak of the head, pulls the pants and hits another, Will goes for a Cutter, Dax stops him, up on the shoulders for Will, he spins, SPRINGBOARD POWERBOMB TO WILL!!!!!! 1…..2…….NO!!!!!! Both men on their knees. They headbutt each other! They stand. Right forearms from each. Dax gets the upperhand, Will tries to motivate himself, runs into a punch, hits a kick to the back of the head, Dax with a HUGE CLOTHESLINE to Will! Dax is up, staring at his pray. He rmeoves the elbow pad. Dax whips, tries for a short clothesline, Will spins over the move, hits a surprise Liger Bomb into a pin for 1..2.NO!!!!!
OSPREAY CUTTER!!! Cover for 1..2….NO!!!!! THE CROWD IS SO ALIVE!!! Will calls for the Hidden Blade! Dax on his knees! Will with The Hidden Blade!!!
Winner: Will Ospreay
Son of a…..BITCH that was good!!! Dax doesn’t miss, and having someone like Will in the ring with him only makes him look even better. Amazing. I haven’t even caught my breath yet.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 13:43
Cobb and Co look to attack Dax, but here come Cash, Trent, and Rocky!!! They enter to stop the barrage. Will is in the corner, not attacking anyone.
ORANGE FUCKING CASSIDY!!
He’s back!!!! Orange enters the ring! Will is standing in the middle of the ring.
Orange circles him, ignoring him, then turns his attention to the back of Will. Will turns, gets in the face of Orange, Rocky, Cash, Dax, and Trent stand by his side, so Will rolls out of the ring.
Jon Moxley and Tanahashi video package, sayin this is three years in the making. Jon says he is the best wrestler on planet earth. He IS The Forbidden Door.
We are back with Hiroshi Tanahashi making his entrance!
Moxley is scowling in the ring.
They go face to face to the chant of HOLY SHIT.
Moxley says he’s been chasing him for a long long time. And finally, here he is in all of his glory. Jon chased him across Japan, across the Pacific, wrestled Kenta in an empty warehouse, all that work from Day One has always been about Tanahashi. There are a lot of champions, a lot of belts and titles and tournaments, but there is only one man they call Ace. Nor for long, though.
Jon allows some cheers then says it is a fact that he is the best pro wrestler on this planet. He lives this shit. There is a lot more on the line on June 26, than the AEW World Title. Everything is on the line for Jon. Everything he has tried to forge himself is all on the line. For Tanahashi? His knees, his neck, his life on the line. Jon plays for keeps. When the dust settles, Tanahashi-son, you will call Jon Ace.
Tanahashi grabs the mic, but he is cut off before even talking by….
Jericho comes out, cuts the music, he is with Sammy and Tay Conti. Jericho says the only reason why Jon is in the ring is because Jericho isn’t her last week. This is his spot. Jon needs to leave, or else he’ll burn his face with a fireball, because he’s a wizard.
The last time he saw Tanahashi, he beat him two years ago in the Tokyo Dome.
Tanahashi tells Jericho to shut up. Lol. Tight.
Jericho smiles, then says, “Get em, boys!”
Out come JAS, but Lance Archer and Desparado attack from behind!!! JAS get to the ring, and we get a bunch of goons to attack Jon and Tanahashi.
Jericho wants to introduce the newest members of the JAS, Sammy Guevara and Tay Conti. Jericho doing this while archer and Desparado beat down Tanahashi and Jon. Jericho says these guys are on loan, and will team with Chris Jericho at the Forbidden Door. Jericho, Suzuki, Sammy vs Yuta, Umino, and Kingston.
The sound of his name calls Eddie out, and here comes Ortiz and Yuta and Santana to clear the ring! Paradigm Shift to Menard. Tanahashi hits a Slingblade to Desparado!
Everyone is out fo the ring, save for Moxley and Tanahashi, and they go face to face.
Darby and Kyle with a promo about Sting’s ankle breaking. Darby promises to do the same to him. Fish tells Darby to get his makeup done just right and nails painted. Looks like it’s Fish vs Darby on Friday.
Match 4: Miro vs Ethan Page
Just as the bell rings, Page rolls to the outside to talk to Dan. He rolls in, then right back out, but Miro ain’t havin none of this and kicks his ass a bit before we go to PIP.
WE are back and Miro has Page locked up against the ropes on the apron. He beats down on the chest of Page for 9 hits, then Page pulls the arm and hangs it up on the top rope! Miro punches Page down then shakes off the pain. He exits, and Page sends him into the ringsteps. Page with a huge shove, sending Miro into the steps again. Page rolls Miro into the ring. Page to the top rope. He dives with a shoulder tackle! Looks good. Pin for 1…NO!!! Yeesh. Page to the apron. He dives into the ring with a cutter! 1..2…NO!!! Miro grabs the arm, headbutt to the chest, another, locks the hips and we get an overhead! Another!!! Huge splash in the corner, spinning leg lariat off the ropes.
Lambert to the apron. Superkick from Miro! He stomps the back! GAME OVER!!!!! LEG SCISSORS!
A nice return to form for Miro, and man the match at Forbidden Door is gonna be sick.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:31
Sydal and Dante Martin are backstage to sell Martin’s match against Moxley this Friday. When stars like Moxley go down, it will be people like Dante who take his spot. A new star will be born on Friday. That star is inhuman, which sounds like a new nickname Martin is trying to get over.
Match 5: Britt Baker vs Toni Storm
Storm starts with a fierce attack sending Britt to the outside. She follows, hits a right, but Britt hits one of her own then sends Toni into the ringpost. Hayter and Rebel are on either side of Toni, distracting her. Britt shoves her down, then breaks the count. She grabs Toni and sends her into the ring, but Toni hits the apron then slides out and pull Britt outside. Chop to the chest. Toni sends Britt into the ring then hops to the top rope. Toni drives off with a crossbody. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Rebel on the apron. Toni hits the ropes, Hayter pulls her out of th ring. Ref is distracted with Rebel.
Here comes Thunder Rosra to chase Hayter to the back!!! Rebel is still ringside as we go to break.
We are back and Toni hits a German to Britt. She hits the corner of the ring, rushes Britt with a HUGE hip attack! Holy shit that looked bad. Toni pills at britt, Britt holds onto the bottom rope, wanting some time to herself. Toni grabs Britt by the hair, pulls Britt up, hits a forearm, Britt drops down. Ref checks on Britt. Britt is hurting. Toni looks to grab Britt, but Britt with a surprise Cradle!!!! 1..2..NO!!!!
Swinging neckbreaker!!! 1…..2….NO!!!! SHE WAS FIBBIN!!! Damn, she had me fooled! She puts on the glove! Looks for Lockja, but Toni counters. GERMAN!!! PILEDRIVER!!!! 1…2……3!!!!!!!
Winner: Toni Storm
Damn, Britt had me scared as hell. A nice win for Toni Storm, even if a little telegraphed by her lack of star power since she got here.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:32
Stokely is backstage talking about being on commentary for the first time. In comes Willow Nightengale, and Stokely is happy because she wants to be a Baddie!
Willow says no, he obviously doesn’t remember her. She is trying to prove herself, so she wants to accept the open challenge this Friday. He calls this crazy, and says they’ll talk on Friday.
HERE COMES HANGMAN ADAM PAGE!!!
Page brings up Okada. He says as a self-professed occasional dumbass, Okada may not still be champion. And this weekend, Okada lost the championship.
The sentiment has not changed, and the challenge still stands.
Here comes Adam Cole to call him a stupid cowboy, because first of all, congrats to Jay White, and second, why must he keep repeating himself? Page will nto challenge for that title at Forbidden Door, because if anyone does it will be Cole. Forbidden Door is not about AEW, it’s about The Undisputed Elite, about The Bullet Club, and the best way to do that is to showcase Adam Cole vs Jay White. Speaking of Forbidden Door, Okada wont even be there. There is someone here tonight who would love to say hello, though.
And here comes…..
Jay White from behind to attack Page with a Bladerunner!!!!
Jay tells the prone Page that he is Switchblade Jay White, the Catalyst of Professional Wrestling, the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, so what makes Hangman thinks he calls the shots? He couldn’t beat Punk, lost his title, and he’s 2 – 0 to Jay White, so if he’s going to put the title on the line, it won’t be against Hangman Page, buddy.
Jay turns to Cole, says it wont be against him either.
He holds the prize, he holds the power. This title means that the world now breathes with the Switchblade, because this is his era.
Cole warns Jay not to do this off the mic.
Match 6: AEW World Tag Team Championship Ladder Match
The Young Bucks vs Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy
The Bucks attack as soon as the bell rings, sending Lucha outside and cornering JB. Lucha grabs a ladder, but here is Matt to slide into the ladder, sending it into Lucha. JB flies off the top onto Matt, enters the ring, grabs Nick, who is already climbing a ladder. JB hops up to the top rope, locks the giners, and ranas Nick off the ladder! In comes Matt, JB hops off the ropes onto the ladder!! He climbs quick, but Matt climbs as well. Right hand sends Matt down, Matt shoots Nick up, he gives JB a right hand, in Comes Lucha to GOOZLE both Buck! Kick to Lucha, roundhouse from Nick to Lucha! They fold the ladder and send it into Lucha, who ducks, kicks the ladder, wheelbarrow to Jb, shoot into a Flatliner! Luch runs into a kick, JB gets sent to the apron, high kick off the apron, Luch catches Nick, JB off the corne with an elbow drop!
The Bucks drop both JB and Lucha and grab the ladder, setting it up in the corner. Whip to JB, who walks up the aldder, bounces off the top rope with a crdosbody, sends Nick over the top onto the apron head first, kick to Matt, he flies, Matt with a Northern Lights, a second, then a third ONTO the ladder!!! Damn…..Nick shoots himself UP THE LADDER AND FLIES OFF WITH A WHISPER IN TH EWIND TO LUCHA ON THE OUTSIDE!!!
The Bucks are on the apron, grab JB and looks tu psuplex him into the atble, but Lucha grabs an ankle, and JB suplexes Nick into the ring. Lucha assists JB with a RANA TO MATT THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE!!! Lucha tries to do the same with Nick on the other side, but Nick counters and hits a powerbomb into th table111! CANADIAN DESTROYER TO LUCHA!! Kick to Lucha on the outside!! Nick to the top rope! Lucha on the table. Nick dives with a 450 splash ONTO THE TABLE!!!!!
We are BACK and Nick tries for a Superkick, but JB swings it into Nick! Then Superkicks Matt, then springboards, but BOTH BUCKS WITH A SUPERKICK!!!! In comes Lucha to duck under some Superkicks, tail whip to Nick, Chokeslam to Mat! CHOKESLAM TO NICK ONTO A LADDER!!!! Lucha to the top rope! He moonsaults onto both BUCKS!!! Lucha slides a ladder into the ring. He sets it up in the center, with one ladder still leaned against the ropes facing hard cam. Lucha sets the ladders up. He starts the climb, here comes Matt.He hops on the back of Lucha. Lucha opts to stil lclim the ladder. Refs are in to hold the ladder down. In comes JB who smacks Matt across the back with a third ladder. JB starts to climb a slightly smaller ladder. Matt to the top, right hand from Matt. Nick springbaoards in. He’s on the same ladder as Lucha. All four on the ladders. They trade blows, with JB slamming Matt on the top of the ladder. JB Falls .Lucha sends Nick down. Lucha left by himself on the top. Bucks are up! They grab Lucha! POWERBOMB TO LUCHA ONTO THE LADDER!! POISON RANA TO JB FRO MNICK!!! Matt beats Lucha down on the table. Matt to the top rope. ELBOW DROP TO LUCHA THROUGH A TABLE!!!!
JB laid out.
Nick stirring in the corner.
Luha writhing in pain!
Matt smiling on the floor!
JB with a german in the ring! Matt slides in! JB starts the climb on the smaller ladder! Matt grabs the big ladder. He heads up, JB grabs the leg of Matt, Matt kicks away, his shoe slips off! JB tosses it, grabs Matt. GERMAN TO MATT JACKSON!! JB tries to climb again, but here is Nick. JB goes on the opposite end of the ladder, right hands to Nick, Matt on the same side as JB on the other ladder. JB fighting both Bucks! Chops to the chest, Matt stops, grabs the arm, Nick grabs the arm! BTE TRI—NO!!!!! JB shoves the ladder, and both Bucks fall off the ladder! Their momentum pushes on the ladder, and JB gets hung up on the top rope!!!
Lucha enters the ring!! He is to the top of the aldder!!! He touches the titles!!! Bucks are in! They shove the ladder! LUCHA FALLS THROUGH FOUR TABLES SET UP AT THE END OF THE RAMP!!!!
Jungle Boy is in! He chops both Bucks! JB climbs fast!!! Bucks grabs his legs!!! They pull him down, BTE TRIGGER!!!!! Nick is BLEEDING FROM THE NSOE!!
They climb the ladders! The Young Bucks win the titles!!!
Winners: The Young Bucks
On one hand, I could do without another Young Bucks title reign, but on the other hand, they are reliable, have the star power, and can possibly help elevate another team that could look better beating them than they would beating Jurassic Express. This was about as Indyriffic as you could get, with tables being destroyed and enough flips to piss off a Cornette, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t enjoy it.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 14:56
After. The match, JB is being held up by Doc Sampson. Christian enters the ring to help walk Jungle Boy out of the ring. The Doc walks out, and CHRISTIAN ATTACKS!!!!!
CAGE DRAGS JUNGLE BOY IN THE RING AND BERATES JB BEFORE HEADING OUT OF THE RING AND GRABBING TWO CHAIRS!! JUNGLE BOYS MOM AND SISTER ARE IN THE CROWD!!! CHRISTIAN SETS UP JBS HEAD ONTOP OF A CHAIR.
Cage rolls JB over covers him, then stands tall and removes his jacket. He covers the face of Jungle Boy.