Sez Me …
A.J. Smith dubbed April “Liar’s Month,” and truth be told, he wasn’t lying. The fourth month starts with fools and ends with the fooled.
NFL April is a barn 30 days long, filled with bales of flim-flam, people who know what they’re doing, those who think they do, and those who know nothing. A hall of mirrors and smoke. Deception. Bluffs. Rumors. Fabrications. Overreaction. Desperation.
Which is why Vegas is the perfect spot for the NFL Draft. It always should be the genial host. Where better to dream what all too often is the impossible dream, maybe be the GM in a wedding chapel catching the garter?
Sin City. The Big Crap Shoot. From drawing to an inside straight to playing it safe. That’s the NFL Draft, the world’s largest non-sporting event, running three days beginning Thursday night.
The common draft wafted into our lives in 1967, without glitz, glamor or audience, with Pete Rozelle scribbling picks on a chalkboard.
But very few of them have had more mystery to it than this one. The strongest position is unpredictability. Of course there always is uncertainty, but we’re about to see things far beyond the horizon of normal. This could be a Wall Street trade-a-thon.
It’s possible — though not really probable — that there won’t be an offensive skill player taken in the top 10.
I’ve seen a mock draft with four quarterbacks going in the top 10, which seems a mockery even for many mocks. If a GM takes one of these QBs high in the first round, he will be the desperate, dehydrated man crawling across the Sahara seeing an oasis that isn’t there.
There isn’t a quarterback in this lottery who can approach Baker Mayfield, and Baker, at least until next weekend, is looking for a place to land. Healthy (he played with one arm in 2021), I make him better than at least 14 current starters.
Far too often teams whiff on can’t-miss QBs, and with the likes of Kenny Pickett, Malik Willis, Matt Corral, Sam Howell and Desmond Ritter leading a flawed class, there isn’t one to miss on this time.
But some desperate GMs are going to spin the QB wheel of fortune, jokers hoping it stops on the joker. You never know. They could find the money.
This is a draft top heavy in edge rushers and receivers. If I had my choice of one player, it would be Oregon edge Kayvon Thibodeaux. Critics say he takes plays off, but he packs Shawne Merriman explosives and an Allen Iverson first step.
Thanks to what I consider a terrific offseason of defensive acquisitions, the NFL Team That Used To Be Here — you know, the Judases/L.A. Lodgers — needs a right tackle, which still could come from free agency.
I keep hearing they love Alabama receiver Jameson Williams, who has over-the-top speed and skill but is coming off ACL surgery. Also Clemson nose tackle Jordan Davis, run-stopper deluxe.
In any event, I love the draft. There’s nothing like it. Place your bets. …
Despite SoFi’s artificial grass, Snoop Dogg reluctantly will entertain at the Judases’ DraftFest. …
Daniel Jeremiah says the Jets have a chance to draft four players who can “walk in” and be the best in their position room. Now that’s a bad football team. …
Tom Brady says football comes at too high a cost now. No. It used to come at too high a cost, when players didn’t make any money for getting their heads bashed in. He could have retired years ago. …
If the 49ers don’t have Jimmy Garoppolo and Deebo Samuel, there’s one other thing they will be lacking — a chance, like the snowball one. …
What’s Deebo really want? What’s in your wallet? …
The Pro Football Hall will allow in three senior players each of the next three years. Playing catch-up will take longer than that, but new Hall President Jim Porter is a budding star. …
I’ve been in men’s rooms more crowded than the stands at Saturday’s Pittsburgh-Philadelphia USFL game. Maybe 100? USC’s spring game, on ESPN, had at least 50 times more. …
USC isn’t there yet. It will be. …
Next year’s FBS Championship Game will be in SoFi Stadium, which will be nice. But the best college football stadium is across town in Pasadena. …
It appears the Padres finally have found a replacement for Jurickson Profar. Same initials. …
What to do with MacKenzie Gore? 1.78 ERA? You pitch him, that’s what. …
Jake Arrieta says Jacob deGrom is the greatest starting pitcher in history. Jake’s not only retired from baseball, but reality. …
The A’s are drawing stick figures, but better than that USFL game. On to Vegas! …
Much Too Much Ado: I watched Luke Voit’s Slide Heard Round The World several times. A baseball play. We have to find something better to do with ourselves. …
Plus, it was about time for Voit to hit something hard. …
I have two Sports Illustrateds with covers celebrating Willie Mays and Henry Aaron joining the 3,000-hit club. Used to be something more important than crapalytics. …
The NBA fined ambidextrous Kyrie Irving $25,000 per middle finger. Maybe he was just scratching the back of his head? …
How will the NBA feel about the NFL stuffing the stocking with three games on Christmas Day, which it owned for years? Roger Goodell does his best George Costanza: “Oooh, I’m scared. I’m shaking.” …
Happy retirement, Jay Wright, one of the all-time coaches. …
Watched a few minutes of “Chrisley Knows Best,” and determined Chrisley doesn’t know much. …
Stink O’ The Week Sezment: “The Kardashians” becomes the highest-rated premiere in Hulu history. Bad history, Hulu. …
I’m OK with Mel Kiper Jr. not being vaccinated. It would mean he could leave the house. …
Rule No. 1 of NFL rookie orientation: Don’t smile for the cop shop mug shot. …
If quarterbacks are going to get billions, the least they can do is show up for voluntary workouts. …
Florida has banned 54 student math books. So now, unable to count that high, it can’t be sure if it’s the 27th state. Will have to settle for dumbest. …
RIP, Pete “The Whale” Buompensiero, a friend, childhood neighbor, and an all-time Little Italy character. …
If California gets 25 percent (around 4 million) of its cars to be electric by 2025, I’m Thomas Edison. And I’m far too nice and stupid to be Thomas Edison. …
Sugar Ray Robinson. Muhammad Ali. Joe Frazier. Tommy Pham. …
I have a short list of people I would harass on a plane. Mike Tyson isn’t on it. My ears are not what they used to be, but they remain important for facial balance. …
If the IOC can ban Russians from the Olympics for drugs, Wimbledon can do the same for war. But I’m wondering how many of them even know about it. …
The U.S. has banned all Russian vessels from its ports. We’ve already towed that Russian sub out of our Maritime Museum for scrap. So, for the first time in this century, San Diego was ahead of its time. …
Padres: Defense wins championships. Not always.
